Today Show: Marriage is Dead

Is marriage dead? According to this woman, it is:

On this site, we aim to discuss matters of culture, matters of faith, and/or matters of technology. This topic seems to fit two out of the three and, in the words of Jack Nicholson, “That ain’t bad!”

I just delivered a message last Thursday on this specific issue: Marriage. It seems as though the more self-centered our society becomes, the less that marriages tend to succeed. As the “me” quotient goes up, the satisfaction, longevity, and enjoyment of a marriage goes down.

A God-blessed marriage is one that asks “What’s in it for thee,” not “What’s in it for me.” Marriage exists for the sake of the other person, not yourself.

Is it any wonder the woman featured in the video is so anti-marriage? She’s completely missed the point!

Those of you who are married, what’s one of the biggest keys to making your marriage work and work well? Please share, we need to hear from you!

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Contributor: Justin Wise

I am a religious deviant who enjoys coffee, collared shirts, spending time with my wife and son, learning about quantum physics and creatively exploring the riches of the Spirit of Christ. Find more here: JustinWise.me
  • Go read Jay's answer, but here is my addition that I totally stole from my pastor Andy Stanley. It is really another way to say what Dave S. just said.

    1. Be committed to your wife, not your marriage.

    Andy said that he doesn't want his wife to be committed to "the marriage" because she can go out and find another "the marriage." He wants her to be committed to HIM.

    peace|dewde
  • Love this. Never pictured it like that before!
  • Can't remember where I read or heard this, but found it profound... I think it's really easy to make a commitment based on what's happening right now, especially if what's happening right now is we're madly in love and passionate and happy. If you're committing to doing what's happening right now forever, that's not really a commitment. Things change, people change. We grow and become. So I committed to my wife that I would stay with her forever, regardless of what happened. That's a much harder commitment to make, but I find it much easier to keep, because if things go south, my options are changed to "stay south together" or "go north together". Two surprising cheers for limiting my options!
  • David, your wisdom is delicious. I sop it up wit' a bizkit!
  • Elthe
    Married 7 years.

    Our ceremony had five people at it, including the rent-a-preacher. We exchanged mood rings. I wore an $8 dress. Those things aren't what makes our marriage strong.

    Honesty and communication are the keys to making it work. Trust follows from those getting two things down. Don't let small annoyances become thorns in your side. Learn to distinguish between what's important and what you can let go. Be willing to compromise. Love without conditions.
  • Bring it, Elthe. Welcome to BeDeviant.com!
  • I think that if you were to go the many of the ceremonies around of the 50%, maybe, just maybe you would hear the words "for better or for worse...." and then have a reading from oh, let's say 1 Corinth. Now, could it be that, if the male and female standing up there actually listened to those words that were spoken, and those words that they said, and took them seriously--would the percentage be different?

    And, to get a little political....Could the government impose stricter guidelines for divorce? Ya know, because anyone with $180 can go get a divorce. And if they could, would it always be storybook ending with Ashton and Cameron falling in love in "What Happens in Vegas"?
  • jason kramme
    I guess that, at the end of the day, i think that divorce is a symptom of a larger problem rooted in mis-relationship with God (and God's love). If we are not willing to love someone like Jesus would, we shouldn't marry them. The reverse is true too: if we aren't willing to let someone love us like Jesus does, you are not ready to be married. I think its possible to be married to someone you shouldn't be married to. I blame the church for making people feel like they need to get married in the first place. If we had communities of peopel that loved like Jesus, I don't think that we would NEED to be married to so many of the wrong people. Jesus talks about the kingdom of God a whole lot more than he does marriage, and i think it was intentional.
  • some great thoughts so far. perhaps the most profound I have read regarding marriage came from Rob Bell's book Sex God. He talks about the significance of the chuppah. Perhaps married folks need to get under and stay under the chuppah.
    I don't see the wedding ceremony as a waste of money, because it is the most significant miracle in a believer's life next to experiencing a relationship with Christ. It is a miracle, and the experience shouldn't be toned down because weddings have become a show, we just need to adjust our focus.
  • jason kramme
    You're right. I wouldn't see it as a waste of money. I plan on having a wedding ceremony whenever I get married. But, the emphasis that we put on .0001% of our marriage is very unhealthy.

    If the most important experience in our life is our relationship with Christ, then the second most important one should be our relationship with that of the non-believer, right? Go make disciples?

    (I'm playing devil's advocate here, just so ya know.)
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