
I was Skyping with a friend about performing marriage ceremonies for couples who were living together before they were married. “Where do we draw the line?” was the gist of our discussion. Do you:
- Marry people if they are living together before marriage?
- Ask cohabitating couples to live elsewhere before you’ll agree to the ceremony?
- Have a blanket, black-and-white policy for all couples, regardless of how well you know them personally?
At one point in the discussion, I wrote:
I would rather people have sex before marriage than be alientated from the church for the rest of their lives.
I was shocked. By my own words. But I mean them. I am not convinced that the Church has the luxury of saying, “We won’t marry you because you are living together.” (To be clear, I am confident that most, if not all, couples who live together before marriage are not, in fact, “saving themselves” for the wedding night.) If the couple can’t get married in a church, they’ll go to the courthouse or find a friend who got ordained online and get married.
That’s the reality.
I would rather marry a couple who is living together and provide some sort of Christ-centered influence than let them go off and find a non-Christian alternative.
That’s me. What do you think?
UPDATE: This post was written strictly regarding non-Christian couples. It is written under the context of marrying people who do not go to church. Christians, to be sure, need to keep it in their pants.
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